Well, some of us are saved. Thanks to the heroic efforts of scientists, military leaders, and politicians around the globe, most of the asteroid swarm has been either destroyed or diverted from Earth impact.
Throngs of relieved people have clogged major cities in every city on the planet, except for a few, as they celebrated their reprieve from a fiery, flattened death.
This newspaper celebrates the dedication, hard work, and good old fashioned Earth ingenuity on display in this recent technological miracle.
And no, we do not feel that "miracle:" is too strong or mysterious a word to describe what has happened in the past 4 days. "It was like an act of God, or space aliens, or something," Melbourne resident Kylie Ciccone told this reporter. "I mean, first there were like a billion asteroids coming out of nowhere, and now there aren't. A billion, I mean," Ms. Ciccone clarified. "There are still asteroids coming, and they're still going to destroy stuff. But you know, not Melbourne, and that's important."
Below is an updated map with the remaining impact zones.
As you can see, the governments of the world still have their work cut out for them. Populations of several major cities will still need to be evacuated to safe locations, as the asteroid storm is expected to make these cities uninhabitable for at least 3 days. Casualties for anyone remaining in the cities is expected to exceed 75%.
The cities are:
- New York/Newark metropolitan area
- Paris
- Moscow
- Beijing
- Tokyo
What the world governments can do to save their people remains very much a mystery. This newspaper will report on developments as soon as they occur.
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