The Weekly Journal

In light of the recent outbreak of the common cold, I and the Minister of Defense have combined our resources and developed an action plan for the defense of the Russian Federation and health of your family. We will be forming mobile health clinics to provide medical assessments and distribute surgical masks and latex gloves among other basic supplies. We will also be releasing public service announcements via radio and television channels. These announcements will relay information about the cold and how to prevent further spread of the virus. Our capable epidemiologists are actively working to find the source of this cold outbreak and stop its spread. Your cooperation is essential to the health of our glorious nation and your friends and family.