Readers, we here at The Weekly Journal have just received an urgent communique from famed American citizen Chuck Norris himself to the people of North America. We have been instructed to pass the message on to you, our readers around the world, without delay. Here is that message:
Comrades of the Great Revelation, a new era is upon us. Our obsolete way of life has come to an end. We now have the power and the ability to change our human race to something far greater than we have ever imagined. As you all well know, vampires...
Readers, we here at The Weekly Journal have just received an urgent communique from Chinese President Hu Jintao himself. We have been instructed to pass the message on to you, our readers around the world, without delay. Here is that message.:
My loved citizens of China,
As you know, our country, and the rest of the world, is in the midst of an unimaginable reformation. The past couple weeks has solidified the end of an era in China’s history and brought forth the underpinnings of a revolutionary, highly advanced breed of...
Page One Page TwoPage Three Page FourPage F...
The Vodka Rebell...
操作蔣師 The Communist Party of China Operation Jiang Shi To: The beloved inhabitants of China From: Hu Jintao, President of NPC, G.S. of CPC, C.M. of CMC Subject: Establishing China’s future Date: March 4, 2011 My beloved citizens of China, Our country, and the rest of the world, is in the midst of an unimaginable reformation. The past couple weeks has solidified the end of an era in China’s history and brought forth the underpinnings of a revolutionary, highly advanced breed of life that will surely guarantee the advancement...
Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 ...
New Russian Socialist Revolution New Russian Socialist Revolution Military Action Brief ...
Normal.dotm 0 0 1 397 2266 University of Vermont 18 4 2782 12.0 0 false 18 pt 18 pt 0 0 false false false /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times...
We are going to attempt to coexist with vampiresOur plan is to:-talk to vampires to see their wants and needs-set up a system that creates legislation protecting humans and vampires-setup a judicial system to prosecute vampires that break human mandated laws or humans that break vampire related laws.-setup a system to enforce these human and vampire created laws. The enforcement team should include vampires and humans....
In response to Japans so called vampire sightings, our nation isn't overly concerned with their presence. We are more concerned with the current threat of wide spread homelessness, then with the presence of these mythical creatures. We are interested in learning about their kind and would like to carry on about this in a peaceful way. Scientific testing can will help us to better understand their kind, their biology, and their impact on the fate of the human race. Our civilians seem pre-occupied with their recent displacements...
The North American government would like to extend a warm welcome to our new vampire citizens. We would like to make our stance clear; that we will welcome vampires into our government and that there is no need to hi...
The Communist Party of China:Vampire Response MechanismPresident Hu JintaoATTENTION:I have recently received some controversial information regarding the presence of an unfamiliar form of the human race, the vampire. This news came as a complete shock to me, and the executive Council of the Communist Party collectively. However, the Intel appears to be reputable and calls for a corresponding governmental procedure.It seems as though the existence of vampires in our contemporary society is not an immediate threat to humanity....
EDITORIAL - The events of the past few weeks have shaken us all. Memorial services continue across the world for those lost in the Great Impact, as the devastating asteroid barrage has come to be known. Millions upon millions of people remain homeless, refugees in their own countries. Despite the confident-sounding pronouncements from governments across the world from Africa to New Zealand, I fear that there are too few solutions, for too few people, to prevent more deaths. As winter continues to hold the northern hemisphere...
Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 ...
With the world in turmoil, a new force to be reckoned with has emerged from literally the most unlikely and unthinkable location -- vampires. TBBN has the following two-part report on the emergence of the Earth's latest... threat? Minority? Pandemic?
But not everyone is welcoming the vampires with open arms, or open veins, as it were. Some say that the vampires are a threat to humankind, and must be contained or killed. The Weekly Journal has obtained this never-before-released footage of a vampire killing a human:
So,...
Asteroid Aftermath1) 50% of city leveled/burned? 2.5 million definitely dead, ⅗ of the rest of the population left in the city estimated dead. 2) 25% of city leveled/burned? 1.25 million definitely dead, ⅗ of the rest of the population left in the city estimated dead. 1&2) Military Search Party to find survivors in the city3) Evacuation & Refugees --> Successful, how much? 5 Million Assumed Dead and stuck in the city. For the 22 million residents in Beijing, 17 million successfully escaped for almost an evacuation...
