Readers, we here at The Weekly Journal have just received an urgent communique from famed American citizen Chuck Norris himself to the people of North America. We have been instructed to pass the message on to you, our readers around the world, without delay. Here is that message:
Comrades of the Great Revelation, a new era is upon us. Our obsolete way of life has come to an end. We now have the power and the ability to change our human race to something far greater than we have ever imagined. As you all well know, vampires have been living among us for some time now. We must not be afraid of them but embrace them as our own. The leaders of the American populace are 100 percent behind the evolvement of the vampire community and all of you will follow. The vampires need our support right now. Vampires are smarter, faster, stronger, and better than we are; they are the future. The scientific community as well as the military are looking to “cure” the vampires. Instead of curing them they will be diminishing our chances to evolve as a new race.
Readers, we here at The Weekly Journal have just received an urgent communique from Chinese President Hu Jintao himself. We have been instructed to pass the message on to you, our readers around the world, without delay. Here is that message.:
My loved citizens of China,
As you know, our country, and the rest of the world, is in the midst of an unimaginable reformation. The past couple weeks has solidified the end of an era in China’s history and brought forth the underpinnings of a revolutionary, highly advanced breed of life that will surely guarantee the advancement and preservation of our civilization amidst the current turmoil.
Click here to download the Communist Party of China's great plan, Operation Jiang Shi.
In this document you will read:
- A personal message from me, President Hu Jintao
- China's Population Crisis Solved!
- Super Flu Sweeps Nation
- Operation Jiang Shi
- How Becoming a Vampire Changed My Life
- Director Cai Hong's Scientific Report
- Ten Reasons Why Being a Vamp Beats All
Thank you for your time, and as I have already made clear, I desire everyone’s full cooperation with Operation Jiang Shi.
操作蔣師
The Communist Party of China
Operation Jiang Shi
To: The beloved inhabitants of China
From: Hu Jintao, President of NPC, G.S. of CPC, C.M. of CMC
Subject: Establishing China’s future
Date: March 4, 2011
My beloved citizens of China,
Our country, and the rest of the world, is in the midst of an unimaginable reformation. The past couple weeks has solidified the end of an era in China’s history and brought forth the underpinnings of a revolutionary, highly advanced breed of life that will surely guarantee the advancement and preservation of our civilization amidst the current turmoil.
To those who have supported the Council and facilitated the establishment of the Communist Party as the chief governmental agency in the land-I wish it known that a specialized DNA test would reveal that I am a member of this highly functional species denoted as vampires. I, along with the many others who have understood the passage of time as negligible, have witnessed the evolution of Homo sapiens and the construction of modern China from the annals of the past. It is important in this time of struggle that we vampires exploit the vulnerability of the human race, and ascertain ourselves as a dominant power. The Communist Party of China along with executive members of the military and science community have successfully composed a nation interwoven with vampire authority-to those unaware the very political structure of our nation, that is the Communist Party of China, is comprised of numerous vampire officials, of whom coordinate the operations of our country.
With elaborate infrastructure extending through the military, scientific community, and populace, the Communist Party of China will be declaring the mandatory conversion of the human race. To the humans receiving this address, I insist that this is the best, and ultimately the only, future for China. I implore you all convert voluntarily as to avoid unnecessary costs and chaos, but if after a certain duration you fail to do so, then force will be used to colonize the population entirely.
My fellow vampire associates of Operation Jiang Shi have disclosed separate documents elaborating in detail on the specific nature of the operation as it pertains to the scientific community, the military, and the populace. We have collaborated for centuries in anticipation of this moment-the establishment of a vampire-dominated world. It is important that those in opposition read the subsequent documents so that it is fully understood the advantages of this shift.
As the supreme leader of the CPC and member of the vampire community, I assure everyone that this is the proper economical and societal step to take given the depressed state of the nation. Human conversion eliminates the need for several resources during this time of distress. Prior to the cosmic impact and advent of the common cold, our nation recorded an astonishing 10% GDP growth rate with domestic and foreign investments at an all time high and unemployment figures low. The social and economic burden resulting from the impact has exceeded the capacity for China to progress along its prior path. Instead of squeezing China’s limited resources dry, let us unite as vampires and work towards establishing China as the world power.
I have been your leader for years, and I speak to you now with best intentions. For the survival of our nation, for the sake of the future, I request that all humans convert and unite with the superior species-the vampire! The costs of reconstructing a human oriented society, which is inherently weak to begin with, far exceeds those associated with implementing a conversion procedure. In a short time from now colonization will cease, and China will emerge from the ruins of a once human oriented society as an enhanced global supremacy.
Thank you for your time, and I desire everyone’s full cooperation with Operation Jiang Shi.
Hu Jintao
President of NPC, G.S. of CPC, C.M. of CMC, and a loyal vampire from the start.
PLEASE STAY TUNED AS SUBSEQUENT PDFs ARE UPLOADED CORRECTLY
