Readers, we here at The Weekly Journal have just received an urgent communique from famed American citizen Chuck Norris himself to the people of North America. We have been instructed to pass the message on to you, our readers around the world, without delay. Here is that message:
Comrades of the Great Revelation, a new era is upon us. Our obsolete way of life has come to an end. We now have the power and the ability to change our human race to something far greater than we have ever imagined. As you all well know, vampires have been living among us for some time now. We must not be afraid of them but embrace them as our own. The leaders of the American populace are 100 percent behind the evolvement of the vampire community and all of you will follow. The vampires need our support right now. Vampires are smarter, faster, stronger, and better than we are; they are the future. The scientific community as well as the military are looking to “cure” the vampires. Instead of curing them they will be diminishing our chances to evolve as a new race.
Readers, we here at The Weekly Journal have just received an urgent communique from Chinese President Hu Jintao himself. We have been instructed to pass the message on to you, our readers around the world, without delay. Here is that message.:
My loved citizens of China,
As you know, our country, and the rest of the world, is in the midst of an unimaginable reformation. The past couple weeks has solidified the end of an era in China’s history and brought forth the underpinnings of a revolutionary, highly advanced breed of life that will surely guarantee the advancement and preservation of our civilization amidst the current turmoil.
Click here to download the Communist Party of China's great plan, Operation Jiang Shi.
In this document you will read:
- A personal message from me, President Hu Jintao
- China's Population Crisis Solved!
- Super Flu Sweeps Nation
- Operation Jiang Shi
- How Becoming a Vampire Changed My Life
- Director Cai Hong's Scientific Report
- Ten Reasons Why Being a Vamp Beats All
Thank you for your time, and as I have already made clear, I desire everyone’s full cooperation with Operation Jiang Shi.
操作蔣師
The Communist Party of China
Operation Jiang Shi
To: The beloved inhabitants of China
From: Hu Jintao, President of NPC, G.S. of CPC, C.M. of CMC
Subject: Establishing China’s future
Date: March 4, 2011
My beloved citizens of China,
Our country, and the rest of the world, is in the midst of an unimaginable reformation. The past couple weeks has solidified the end of an era in China’s history and brought forth the underpinnings of a revolutionary, highly advanced breed of life that will surely guarantee the advancement and preservation of our civilization amidst the current turmoil.
To those who have supported the Council and facilitated the establishment of the Communist Party as the chief governmental agency in the land-I wish it known that a specialized DNA test would reveal that I am a member of this highly functional species denoted as vampires. I, along with the many others who have understood the passage of time as negligible, have witnessed the evolution of Homo sapiens and the construction of modern China from the annals of the past. It is important in this time of struggle that we vampires exploit the vulnerability of the human race, and ascertain ourselves as a dominant power. The Communist Party of China along with executive members of the military and science community have successfully composed a nation interwoven with vampire authority-to those unaware the very political structure of our nation, that is the Communist Party of China, is comprised of numerous vampire officials, of whom coordinate the operations of our country.
With elaborate infrastructure extending through the military, scientific community, and populace, the Communist Party of China will be declaring the mandatory conversion of the human race. To the humans receiving this address, I insist that this is the best, and ultimately the only, future for China. I implore you all convert voluntarily as to avoid unnecessary costs and chaos, but if after a certain duration you fail to do so, then force will be used to colonize the population entirely.
My fellow vampire associates of Operation Jiang Shi have disclosed separate documents elaborating in detail on the specific nature of the operation as it pertains to the scientific community, the military, and the populace. We have collaborated for centuries in anticipation of this moment-the establishment of a vampire-dominated world. It is important that those in opposition read the subsequent documents so that it is fully understood the advantages of this shift.
As the supreme leader of the CPC and member of the vampire community, I assure everyone that this is the proper economical and societal step to take given the depressed state of the nation. Human conversion eliminates the need for several resources during this time of distress. Prior to the cosmic impact and advent of the common cold, our nation recorded an astonishing 10% GDP growth rate with domestic and foreign investments at an all time high and unemployment figures low. The social and economic burden resulting from the impact has exceeded the capacity for China to progress along its prior path. Instead of squeezing China’s limited resources dry, let us unite as vampires and work towards establishing China as the world power.
I have been your leader for years, and I speak to you now with best intentions. For the survival of our nation, for the sake of the future, I request that all humans convert and unite with the superior species-the vampire! The costs of reconstructing a human oriented society, which is inherently weak to begin with, far exceeds those associated with implementing a conversion procedure. In a short time from now colonization will cease, and China will emerge from the ruins of a once human oriented society as an enhanced global supremacy.
Thank you for your time, and I desire everyone’s full cooperation with Operation Jiang Shi.
Hu Jintao
President of NPC, G.S. of CPC, C.M. of CMC, and a loyal vampire from the start.
PLEASE STAY TUNED AS SUBSEQUENT PDFs ARE UPLOADED CORRECTLY
Our Last Hope
Current Issues:
- Urban destruction
- Continued displacement of millions of people
- Government and military popularity – as the crisis continues, favorability ratings (which may already be at all-time-low figures) will in almost all cases trend downward.
- Rebuilding infrastructure (physical buildings/roads/etc.)
- Rebuilding economic infrastructure and the global economy
- The Great Revelation of vampires living among us
- The extinction of the human race? (Through predation, conversion, or the inability to compete with vampires, who are stronger, faster, and smarter than humans.)
- The redrawing of cultural and social structures to adapt to the Revelation
- The persistent worry (paranoia?) that vampires are merely the first to come out. What else is out there?
Objectives:
· Preservation of the human race
· Securing a safe haven in the Caribbean
· Transporting as many survivors as possible
· Placing a trade and travel embargo around our new federation
· Research ultraviolet ammunition and vampire anatomy
Our executives have asked us to welcome vampires into our communities, proposed little to help with the mass displacement, and the global economy is only going to continue to deteriorate. What I am about to propose is unorthodox and a last resort as it will end governments. The human race is about to become an endangered species, whether vampires look at mankind as a food source or not they are stronger, faster, and smarter than humans. This alone will make them difficult to compete with, let alone if we become their prey. Counterparts of mine have suggested that we incorporate them into our government and military. What do we have that they could possibly want? Is synthetic blood an answer? When a wolf, a deer, and a steak are placed in a room what do you think would happen? Would the wolf be content with the steak and leave the deer alone, I think not. Whether they are initially a threat or not, laws of nature will come into play and the lesser species, mankind, will suffer.
What I propose is a military coup of the United States of America. Once in power we take all of our assets and as many people as possible and move to the Caribbean. Initially to our protectorates Puerto Rico and Guam and through diplomacy or force take all of the Island states of the Caribbean. Strategically it will be easiest to defend ourselves and control population movements from Islands. With our new capital in Puerto Rico we can begin to set up defenses. Such as an integrated solar panel network, so that we may shine light on our borders at all hours of the day and night. This rests on the assumption that vampires are at least sensitive to light. Whether sunlight is just a nuisance to vampires or not solar power will come in handy in rebuilding our society.
In the event of an attack on our Islands the vampires will have to get there somehow. Unfortunately again not much is known about them, which is why capture and research is essential to our survival. However, I believe that we can assume that they will need some mode of transportation such as a ship or a plane. Whether our bullets and missiles hurt them or not if we sink the ships or shoot down the planes that they use this will at the very least slow they down if not kill them. Our new federation of island states will be haven for those who wish to remain human.
To accomplish this task the Pacific fleet will be sent to secure our haven while the Atlantic fleet starts evacuation measures. To prevent vampires from boarding we will set up UV checkpoints one has to pass through to board and to reach the bridge. This will hopefully prevent vampires from passage. Secondly security measures will include issuing wooden stakes to marines and army personnel, hanging garlic at ship entrances, and continue research on vampire mythology. Research into ultraviolet ammunition will be extremely useful. The Atlantic fleet will wait two weeks until setting route to the Caribbean, this should be sufficient time for people to reach one of the harbors on the east coast from anywhere in the country.
The thought that one can become stronger, faster, and smarter by simply enduring a brief moment of pain is disconcerting. It is possible that other states around the world my wish to convert to vampires. In all likelihood making us their enemies a conventional attack should be within our power repeal. Some have raised the question of a nuclear attack. Personally I feel this to be an unlikely scenario as they would probably want to take as many of us alive as possible. However, intercontinental ballistic missiles should be brought with us and a second strike capability enabled to ensure nuclear deterrence. The missiles we are unable to bring should be destroyed.
